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Some signs of nitpicking in relationships include: Nitpicking in relationships is characterized by being excessively critical of the other person, often in a way that is overly fussy, pedantic, and perfectionistic. Another way to stop nitpicking is to do some reverse psychology. If you or your partner take jokes or humor personally, that might be signs of nitpicking in relationships. in their lives too. Acknowledging the destructive behavior is the first step. Ann Papayoti, CPC, is a life coach and personal development professional helping people help themselves through losses and transitions as a relationship expert. Behav Ther. Before we go further, lets answer the question, What is nitpicking?. But if their behavior is making you lose confidence in yourself and driving you away from them, then its best to tell them so they can start working on how to better communicate with you. Why you can't stop nitpicking your partner - Orit Krug Criticism Is The Toxic Habit That Can Slowly Ruin Your Relationship Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. In that case, when things go wrong, we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves and recognize our problematic patterns. Getting them to talk to you about what it is they need from you shows them that you do care about how they feel. "We can tell our partner what we think or how we feel without criticizing them as an . If you dont address it on time, it might grow into resentment for both of you, leading to the end of the relationship. Fear is the greatest control tactic an abuser will use. When you focus on how your partner isn't giving you the "perfect" relationship, you may end the relationship prematurely or drive them away. To this person, the little issues they see all amount to a much bigger problem that is stopping them from being happy in the relationship. The nitpicker is the person who has a very clear definition of right and wrong. Trust the one you're having now, as you read this. Its a way of preempting the inevitable and taking control of the situation so youre not the one being attacked. They say love is blind and, often, we are blinded to the reality of the dynamic of our most intimate relationships. A nitpicky person will have no trouble expressing it. Many nitpickers dont grow up with the necessary support. Constantly showing support to your partner is a way to tell them they have a strong backbone. Even then, they may disagree with you but dont feel the need to cancel their idea without a reasonable explanation. Appreciate that your partner may not approach things in the same way as you and, even if they dont do something perfectly in your eyes, know when theyre trying their best. Nitpicking might seem harmless to some, especially if youre the one doing it. 2017;151(4):416-430. doi:10.1080/00223980.2017.1305324, Neoh MJ, Azhari A, Mulatti C, Bornstein MH, Esposito G. Disapproval from romantic partners, friends and parents: Source of criticism regulates prefrontal cortex activity. That way, youre not just criticizing, youre educating your partner on the way you feel so you can both understand each other in a much more effective way and hopefully stop your need for constant nitpicking in the process.